Alan Parkington <a.parkington@team.telstra.net> wrote:

> From
> http://www.news.com.au/business/stor...-14334,00.html

> Telstra today reported a net profit of $1.9 billion for the half
> year ended December 31, up from $1.7 billion in the previous
> corresponding period. Revenue rose 6.2 per cent to $12.4 billion.

> "We have again exceeded analyst consensus,

Well whoopy fucking do.

> delivering not only strong top-line revenue growth but also accelerating earnings at the bottom-line,'' Telstra chief
> executive Sol Trujillo said.

You'll have to pardon us if we dont actually cream our jeans.

> "Our transformation

There is no 'transformation', you pathetic excuse for a lying bullshit artist.

> is revitalising every aspect of the business

Bare faced lie.

> and we now rank at or near the top of our global peer group on many key financial performance measures.''

Bare faced lie.

> Telstra shares jumped on the news, and were quoted at $4.86 at 10.21am AEDT, up 3.6 per cent or 17 cents on the day.

That aint a jump, fuckwit.

> Earnings upgrade

> For the fiscal 2008 year, Telstra now expects total revenue to grow by 3 to 4 per cent, up from guidance of 2 to 3 per
> cent.

Pathetic.

> Earnings before interest, tax, depreciation and amortisation (EBITDA) is forecast to grow by 4 to 5 per cent, up from
> guidance of 3 to 4 per cent.

Pathetic.

> Earnings before interest and tax is projected to grow by 6 to 8 per cent, up from guidance of 5 to 7 per cent.

Pathetic.

> Telstra said its first half result was underpinned by strong sales across all its retail business units and key
> product, including broadband, mobiles, traditional fixed line or PSTN services and its online business Sensis.

Easy to claim, hell of a lot harder to actually substantiate that claim.

> "We are growing in the key markets of the future while securing our traditional core business,'' Mr Trujillo said.

Easy to claim, hell of a lot harder to actually substantiate that claim.

> "Despite fierce price competition, we have again won broadband

Anyone can buy market share, fuckwit.

> and post-paid mobile market share from competitors

Anyone can buy market share, fuckwit.

> and grown average revenue per user (ARPU).

And since you dont say by how much, bet that 'growth' is pathetic.

> We have again defied global trends by growing our retail PSTN business.

Another bare faced lie.

> "And given this strong overall performance, we have raised guidance,'' he said.

Well whoopy fucking do.

> Mr Trujillo said the company was committed to taking part in government plans to set up a high speed broadband
> fibre-to-the-node network.

How odd that you have also said that you arent interested in a consortium, liar.

> Telstra "looks forward'' to talks with federal communications minister Stephen Conroy.

It would be a fucking sight more surprising if you didnt, fuckwit.