There are quite a few conflicting paragraphs in the thick 8.5x11"
envelope the Borg sent me today. On one sheet they tell me how
wonderful the Borg are and how they are so glad I'm going to be their
wonderful customer. On another sheet they tell me I'm a shit and they
can do any damned thing they want to me at any time and I have to pay,
no matter what.

"No wireless provider stands behind you like Verizon Wireless."

"You don't have any rights in any personal identification number, email
address or identifier we assign you (we'll tell you if we decide to
change or reassign them). The same is true of your wireless phone
number, except for any right you may have to port it. Your wireless
phone number and name may show up when you call someone"....(blather
instructions to block it.)

"We're not 100% satisfied unless you are."

"Your service is subject to our business policies, practices and
procedures, which we can change without notice. Unless otherwise
prohibited by law, we can also change prices and any other condition in
this agreement at any time by sending you written notice prior to the
billing period in which the changes would go into effect, if you choose
to use your service after that point, you're accepting the changes."

"Please let us know what you think."

"WE EACH AGREE TO SETTLE DISPUTES ONLY BY ARBITRATION OR IN SMALL CLAIMS
COURT AS PROVIDED BELOW. THERE'S NO JUDGE OR JURY IN ARBITRATION, BUT
AN ARBITRATOR CAN AWARD THE SAME DAMAGES AND RELIEF, AND MUST HONOR THE
SAME LIMITATIONS IN THIS AGREEMENT, AS A COURT WOULD. IF ANY APPLICABLE
STATUTE PROVIDES FOR AN AWARD OF ATTORNEY'S FEES, AN ARBITRATOR CAN
AWARD THEM, TOO. WE ALSO EACH AGREE, TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY
LAW, THAT:
(1)THE FEDERAL ARBITRATION ACT APPLIES TO THIS AGREEMENT......."

"As a Verizon Wireless customer, you'll enjoy America's Largest and Most
Reliable Wireless Network."

"You agree we aren't liable for problems caused by you or a third party;
by buildings, hills, network congestion, tunnels, weather or other
things we don't control; or by any act of God. You also agree we aren't
liable for missed Voice Mails or deletions of Voice Mails from your
Voice Mailbox (If you have one), even if you've saved them, or for other
information that may be lost or deleted if we service your phone. If
another wireless carrier is involved in any problem (for example, while
you roam), you also agree to any limitations of liability inits favor
that it imposes."

"You'll enjoy exceptional customer service with our team of certified
wireless experts."


This has the making of a great nightclub comedy act......(c;]

Am I the only one that would like to smash that damned smug look off the
little shit in the glasses? Notice how they always put the camera so
he's looking DOWN at you, the stupid customer. The camera is at his
waist in all pictures, now.....