Re: WINNERS! Usenet Kook Awards, July/August 2006

All Hail Fluffy! On Mon, 11 Sep 2006 20:41:28 +0000, Friendly
Neighbourhood Vote Wrangler wrote:

> The time has come to announce the winners of the July/August 2006
> (combined) Usenet Kook Awards.
>
>
> *Drumroll, Please!*

<drumroll>

> JAYNE KULIKAUSKAS "CHUMP OF THE SUMMER" PIN
>
> The winner is... CHUCK LYSAGHT!
>
> 09 votes - Chuck Lysaght
> 04 votes - Andrew B. Chung
> 03 votes - Daryl Hunt
> 03 votes - Soc.Men
> 02 votes - Jayne Kulikauskas
> 02 votes - Mark Morgan, alias "an old friend"
> 01 votes - Cletis Perkins
> 01 votes - Dustin Cook
> 01 votes - Ed LeTourneau
> 01 votes - Ernie Primeau
> 01 votes - Honest John
> 01 votes - Jeff Relf
> 01 votes - John Ennis, a.k.a. Sollog
> 01 votes - John Lucas
> 01 votes - Jude Alexander
> 01 votes - Keith/Alan Johnson
> 01 votes - Ken Pangborn & Soc.Men
> 01 votes - Michael Jackson Fans of AMM-J
> 01 votes - Norie Boi
> 01 votes - Pamela K. Russell
> 01 votes - Raymond Ronald Karczewski
> 01 votes - Roger Manyard
> 01 votes - Roger Wittekind
> 01 votes - The Big-8 Management Board
> 01 votes - William Barwell
>
> Congratulations, ChumpNozzle! It wasn't even close.

And up against massive, hardcore k0okei competition, too.

> KOOK OF THE MONTH
>
> The winner is... DARYL HUNT!
>
> 19 votes - Daryl Hunt
> 11 votes - Jamie Baillie
> 10 votes - Warhol
> 03 votes - The "Outer Filth" 'Trio'
> 01 votes - none of the above
>
> Congratulations, Duh-ryl! Please remind us, once again, that you are the
> one true "Teh Way of the Kook" author.

Alas, the Trio decided they didn't want to play wif us(tinu) anymore.
Think it was maybe because they didn't like being nominated?

> CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
>
> The winner is... DARYL HUNT!
>
> 16 votes - Daryl Hunt
> 11 votes - Lady Motown
> 05 votes - Larry Caldwell, a.k.a. "Batroc Z Leaper"
> 05 votes - The "Outer Filth" 'Trio'
> 03 votes - Tim Bolen
> 02 votes - none of the above
>
> Congratulations again, Duh-ryl! Henrietta must be so proud of you.

Tough field, I guess.

> COWARD OF THE MONTH
>
> The winner is... RICHARD M SCOVILLE!
>
> 21 votes - Richard M Scoville
> 14 votes - Andrew B Chung
> 06 votes - Daryl Hunt
> 05 votes - The "Outer Filth" 'Trio'
> 03 votes - David Tholen
> 01 votes - none of the above
>
> Congratulations, Dickie! Still hiding behind those AOL proxies - as you
> extort money from innocent people?

Oh, that loss *hurts*. Ward, you really should have tried harder to push
them in here. This just won't do.

> LOONEY MAROON AWARD
>
> The winner is... DR. ANDREW B CHUNG!
>
> 15 votes - Dr. Andrew B Chung
> 11 votes - Pamela K Russell
> 06 votes - Dustin Cook
> 05 votes - Nth Complexity
> 03 votes - Gene Ray
> 02 votes - John Wentsky
> 01 votes - Kent Hovind
> 04 votes - none of the above
>
> Congratulations, Quackpot! That makes Loonie Maroon Award numbah two,
> for you.

He's really piling them up, isn't he? Too bad Wentzky had to lose again,
and N.C. was looking so right for it as well...

> GOLDEN KILLFILE
>
> The winner is... MARK MORGAN!
>
> 22 votes - Mark Morgan, alias "an old friend"
> 09 votes - David Tholen
> 05 votes - Warhol
> 03 votes - none of the above
>
> Congratulations, Mark! A friend so dim is a friend in the [bozo] bin.

Well, I can totally get behind this one, anyway. Mark, you're in the
Killfile until you become an interesting k00k! Meanwhile, Woger, you are
his slave, and he's mine.

> JOSEPH BARTLO "PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE" AWARD
>
> The winner is... MCP!
>
> 18 votes - MCP of Soc.Men
> 11 votes - Cletis Perkins
> 05 votes - Dustin Cook
> 03 votes - Anita Karczewski
> 03 votes - Colonel Jake
> 01 votes - Roger Manyard
> 02 votes - none of the above
>
> Congratulations, Piggy! You were actually able to beat a woman at
> something.

It may be for the best that Cletis lost, as I now suspect him to be a
BowTie sock.

> BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
>
> The winner is... RICHARD M SCOVILLE!
>
> 23 votes - Richard M Scoville
> 11 votes - Raymond R Karczewski
> 03 votes - neither of the above
>
> ScamVile picks up another award for his rapidly growing collection!

I'd just like to say how proud I am of mah boi Dickie! He _still_ believes
I'm <annedpink> and <ansermetniam> (especially the latter), a very rich
irony.

> TONY SIDAWAY MEMORIAL "DRAMA QUEEN" AWARD
>
> The winner is... ANDRE LIEVEN!
>
> 18 votes - Andre Lieven
> 09 votes - Tom D Potter
> 05 votes - Colonel Jake
> 02 votes - none of the above
>
> Congratulations, Andrea! Will Kenny Pangborn be your date for the
> annual Fort Machismo SoC.Fro0T Prom?

Awww, poor Potter! See, Tom? You needed at least ten more votes to
win...

> VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN "WEIRD SCIENCE" AWARD
>
> The winner is... PAMELA K RUSSELL!
>
> 13 votes - Pamela K Russell
> 09 votes - nightbat
> 05 votes - Ernest Primeau
> 03 votes - Dennis B
> 01 votes - Warhol
> 03 votes - none of the above
>
> Congratulations, Spamela! Michael Jackson must love you - after all,
> your theory about pedophilia being a natural instinct must be very
> comforting to him during those times when he feels like he just doesn't
> fit in.

Alas for her poor competition, though! They were all so worthy.

> PALMJOB PADDLE
>
> The winner is... RICHARD M SCOVILLE!
>
> 21 votes - Richard M Scoville
> 12 votes - Pluto
> 03 votes - The "Outer Filth" 'Trio'
> 02 votes - none of the above
>
> ScamVille gets spanked for the world to see. Again!

I have mixed feelings here. On the one hand, it's immensely satisfying
to see Dickie get his just reward, but the Trio were just as deserving.
A tie would have been appropriate. Oh, well.

> SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
>
> The winner is... THE "OUTER FILTH" 'TRIO'!
>
> 23 votes - YES
> 03 votes - NO
>
> We have incoming wounded! Please get this kooky net.cretin to the
> nearest MASH Unit!

Suction!

> GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
>
> The winner is... THE "OUTER FILTH" 'TRIO'!
>
> 13 votes - The "Outer Filth" 'Trio'
> 08 votes - Ed LeTourneau
> 05 votes - neither of the above
>
> Charge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!

BOOM!

> GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER "KICKED @$$" AWARD
>
> The winner is... DR. ANDREW B CHUNG!
>
> 26 votes - Andrew B Chung
> 13 votes - David Tholen
> 03 votes - neither of the above
>
> Congratulations, 'Doctor'! Twice as many votes as Wee Davie Tholen.
> Impressive.

Tough luck for my nominee...

> BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK #21
>
> The winner is... RAYMOND R KARCZEWSKI
>
> 27 votes - Raymond R Karczewski
> 12 votes - Cletis Perkins
> 03 votes - neither of the above
>
> Congratulations, Convict! Now, blame this victory on the AFA-B Bullies
> - like you do with everything else.

Feh, Bowtie's got it already anyway.

> KENNY MCCORMICK MEMORIAL MEDAL
>
> The winner is... DR. ANDREW B CHUNG!
>
> 36 votes - YES
> 04 votes - NO
>
> You're on fire, Andy! That makes three awards for this ballot - so far.

I always knew he was flaming.

> UNABOMBER SURPRISE
>
> The winner is... RICHARD M SCOVILLE!
>
> 17 votes - Richard M Scoville
> 11 votes - Warhol
> 08 votes - Cletis Perkins
> 02 votes - none of the above
>
> Congratulations, ScumVile! This goes to show how much those
> pay-per-read, libellous 'speeches' of yours mean to the rest of
> us[TINU]!

Given that I've re-considered Perkins as a viable candidate for anything
but killfiling, YES!

> ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
>
> The winner is... THE "OUTER FILTH" 'TRIO'!
>
> 10 votes - The "Outer Filth" 'Trio'
> 07 votes - Jeanne
> 09 votes - neither of the above
>
> Congratulations, Sleazeball! You're holier than Mother Mary was on the
> eve of the Immaculate Conception.

And the Trio wins a trio of awards!

> TAR AND FEATHERS
>
> The winner is... CHUCK LYSAGHT!
>
> 42 votes - YES
> 02 votes - NO
>
> Congratulations, Chuck the Clueless Plagiarist!

And another of my nominees wins!

> EMBEDDED ANNOUNCEMENT: I, the Friendly Neighbourhood Vote Wrangler of
> AUK, hereby announce the official remaming of the above award to:
>
> KLUCK LYSAGHT "TAR & FEATHERS" AWARD - A lifetime achievement award,
> reserved solely for those who suffer from Terminal Cluelessness; for
> those most highly incorrigible past all hope crusaders who in another
> time and reality would've been tarred and feathered and ridden out of
> town on a rail. Preferably one with a bridge out. Over a canyon.

Most appropriate!

> BUSTED URINAL AWARD
>
> The winner is... DR. ANDREW B CHUNG!
>
> 22 votes - Andrew B Chung
> 10 votes - rec.radio.amateur.policy
> 09 votes - Cletis Perkins
> 02 votes - none of the above
>
> I smell a foul stench! Get Frito teh Janitor to come and clean it up.

I _withdrew_ the Perkins nom...RRAP was my nominee after that. But it
wouldn't have made a diff, since ABC won by a landslide.

> BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG WHISTLE
>
> The winners are... CHUCK LYSAGHT, TRAINED BY GARY GAMBLE!
>
> 15 votes - Chuck Lysaght, trained by Gary Gamble
> 10 votes - Babaloonie, trained by Dave Hillstrom
> 09 votes - Pamela K Russell, trained by Hell Toupee
> 04 votes - David Tholen, trained by Joe Malloy
> 01 votes - none of the above
>
> Congratulations, Master & Servant! Remember to visit
> http://www.UsenetCowards.com

One hopes to see the likes of sPammy, Tholenator, and Sco-vile (as well as
the Trio) on that site...

> OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
>
> The winner is... RICHARD M SCOVILLE!
>
> 23 votes - Richard M Scoville (incumbent)
> 12 votes - Tom Bishop, a.k.a. Amadeus Jinn
> 04 votes - Tom Potter
>
> Congratulations, Dick, for holding down this office once again!

I had such high hopes for Jinn-Soaked, too.

> OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
>
> The winner is... KENNY PANGBORN!
>
> 37 votes - Kenneth R Pangborn, a.k.a. Kenny Kakes (incumbent)
> 02 votes - Skeptic, alias "Muddy Boggs", alias "TJ"
>
> Go Kenny Kakes Go! Was there /ever/ *any* doubt?

Well, one can always hope, y'know. Skeptic's _so_ deserving.

> OFFICE OF KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
>
> The winner is... PSYLVIA!
>
> 15 votes - Sylvia Sullivan, a.k.a. "PSYLVIA" (incumbent)
> 14 votes - Skeptic, alias "Muddy Boggs", alias "TJ"
>
> Congratulations, PSYLVIA! Is GOTI (Gangs On The Internet) still an
> active organisation? Was it *ever* an active organisation? <shrugs>

Damn, that was close! She won by a whisker. At least we(tinw) can be sure
Mr. Donald "Septic" Alford will be a contender again, anyway.

> MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
>
> The winners are... THE BIG-8 MANAGEMENT BOARD!
>
> 22 votes - The Big-8 Management Board
> 11 votes - Moderators of Soc.Religion.Asatru (was incumbent)
> 07 votes - Charles D Bohne, Honest John and nightbat
>
> Congratulations, Skirv & Company! Y'all snatched this office from some
> of the the biggest fuckwits on Usenet.

I should've nominated the Trio for this, back when I had the chance.

> This concludes the results of the July/August 2006 AUK election.
> (candidacies were accepted from July /AND/ August 2006 nominations, but
> all victories will be documented as *August* wins) A total of 68 ballot
> papers were submitted; 57 of these were deemed to be valid.

A big vote! Well, compared to some of the ones I saw last year, anyway.

> 'Til next time!
>
>
> :-)

'Til next time!