newbie probally Doh type questions!

Having major problems with new wireless setup
I run broadband on Virgin.net with speedtouch modem adsl so far so good!
now have Buffalo Wireless ADSL + Modem router WBMR-G54
also use Onspeed (cannot get any higher than 1Mbps) Have Realtek RTL8139/810x family Ethernet NIC
Installed as instructions no internet "server not found" but wireless LAN seems to be OK (yet to properly test as laptop not arrived but is wireless ready)
uninstalled Onspeed (proxy server) tried again still no internet. tried manual isp address as per the ipconfig (that I have just learned about!) STILL waiting for Buffalo to come back
I have had to remove router and reinstall speedtouch to access internet I have tried the router without the internet and seems fine but the whole idea is so my daughter can access internet through her laptop via our desktop
I am probably missing the obvious but a plain talking how to would be VERY helpful

just checked on devices and the Buffalo does not show up only that the Realtek is working fine but no modem shows other than the speedtouch